White coat. Heels.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Randomize