The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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