have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he shaved USA in his pubs
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
