You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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