so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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