Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
foreskin is a definite game changer
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize