Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize