spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
