im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
