who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
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