I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
