Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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