What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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