I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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