Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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