i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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