This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
