his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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