in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize