Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
You're so nebulous sometimes
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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