Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
