Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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