i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I wear drunk well.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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