I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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