shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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