from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
