I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
