Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
