Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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