i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
