Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
