AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
