Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
