I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
