Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
