What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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