He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
