So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize