Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
