Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize