I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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