I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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