No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
The ass gains better be worth it
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