I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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