found the other keg... it's in the tree
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Randomize
