i wish starbucks made bloody marys
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
