My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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