I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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