Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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