My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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