does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
