I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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