K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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