do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
