So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
