Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We're using joints as your birthday candles
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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