Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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