After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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