i just wanna soil my oats bro
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
