do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
