i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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