The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Dicks are not precious.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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