TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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