As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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