I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Dear god my vagina.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
