This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Randomize