it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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