I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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