Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
