Me too!
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
