google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
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