Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You can't just leave with hair like that
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
