you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
