"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
