I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
