Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize