proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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