Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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