you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
