Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
