ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
