he thought i was a dude.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
