I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
